Wednesday, May 26, 2004

THE LAST LAUGH

My entry for today...a forwarded email joke and my response to it...


THIS JOKE HAS GOT TO BE NOMINATED FOR JOKE OF THE YEAR!!

George Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the aftershave. Clinton was quick to stop him saying, "No, thanks, my wife Hillary will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?" Bush replied, "Go ahead, Laura doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."



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MY REPLY

OK...
Here's a real knee-slapper...

Bill Clinton was president of the U.S. for 8 years during which the budget was balanced, the economy saw unprecendented growth, and the U.S. didn't undertake any expensive occupations while cutting taxes for the wealthy. His would-be successor and vice-president got 500,000 more popular votes than the man who became president.

George W. Bush has been president of the U.S. for a little more than three years and has already created historic deficits, gotten the U.S. bogged down in an unnecessary war and occupation in Iraq, supported the outsourcing of American jobs, and proposed writing intolerance into the Constitution in the form of an amendment against gay marriage.

Here's the hilarious punchline--Clinton was impeached because he lied about having sex while George W. Bush's lies about WMD (among other things) have led to the deaths of thousands of people yet he will never be impeached. Oh, and one can debate all day long about whether or not Hillary Clinton is a whore, but at least she's never killed anyone (hey, as long as we're taking cheap shots...).

But, come to think of it, John Kerry has killed people. In Vietnam. When he volunteered to go. That reminds me of another joke:
Q. What did Dick Cheney get for each of the five medals John Kerry earned in Vietnam?

A. A deferment!

Wait, one more...
Q. What would cause half the country to say they would vote for George W. Bush even after the unnecessary war in Iraq, the prison abuse scandal, the tax cuts for the wealthy, the detention of American citizens without charges or access to attorneys, the lies about WMD and so forth?

A, A character flaw.

Stole that last bit from a Janeane Garofalo comment on the Daily Show...and now a response to my response...starts off kind of reasonable and then...
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I found this political forward a bit more amusing than most... It's funny how individuals can twist their opinions into their own sense of warped fact - that's the problem with the majority of history books in the school system today.

Clinton was not a bad president; he could have been much better - in my opinion - had the media and a handful of beaurocrats not spent his entire presidency crucifying him for getting some head from an intern...

Bush isn't perfect, either. He's had a lot to deal with though - I do not for a second envy his position and responsibilities. September 11th changed the world socially, politically & economically. I believe the President has done the best
with what he's had to work with, and he stands by what he believes in. The queers have already invaded my television most evenings... maybe as long as Bush is president, there won't be a Joe & John Doe moving in next door to me. That's enough to get my vote in November.
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Now I hope that's a parody of the stereotypical right-winger, but given this particular email list, I kind of doubt it...



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Bob brought some friends home to his apartment one night after they had been out painting the town. One friend noticed a big brass gong in Bobs bedroom and asked about it."Thats not a gong" Bob replied "thats a talking clock. Watch this!"
Bob struck the gong and sure enough a voice on the other side of the wall screamed "Hey your jerk its 3 o'clock in the morning!"

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