Thursday, February 03, 2005

The Master Narrative

I started compiling statements that I feel make up the master narrative, in a general sense. If you can think of more or think some I've included should be stricken, send me a comment.

The Master Narrative (or, what Karl Rove will get you to believe so that all dangerous Republican plans will be successful):

They’re terrorists, we’re freedom fighters.
The U.S. is the greatest country in the world.
The U.S. is the most generous country in the world.
The U.S. takes better care of its less fortunate than other countries.
Capitalism is the best economic system, ever.
Making corporations and industries follow regulations is bad.
It’s bad because regulations keep them from maximizing profits.
Maximizing profits is the highest calling of an American businessperson.
America is a Christian nation.
Liberals (Democrats) are wusses and pansies that spend too much money.
Liberals (Democrats) hate the military and Jesus.
Liberals prefer abortions to births.
Conservatism is the moral high ground.
Conservatives are fiscally responsible.
Conservatives don’t want big government.
Liberals want to dismantle the military.
Liberals appease dictators.
We take every precaution to protect civilians in a war zone.
American leaders would never intentionally mislead us.
Welfare hurts the poor.
Specialized degrees help people find work easier.
There is no shortage of jobs to be had in this country.
Hard work is always rewarded with financial gain.
No privilege or financial gain ever comes without hard work.
Government only ever hurts the entrepreneur.
Taxes are legalized theft.
Statements issued from the White House place informing the public before seeking political gain.

And of course, the master narrative to end all master narratives:

It can't happen here...

1 comment:

iranyanprncess said...

I would have to say that the master narrative was completely encompassing of what all those asshole Republicans think. Good work. Maybe you should add. The rich are a lot better then the poor. Naturally.