Sunday, July 11, 2004

MY WHITE ASS CAN BE PRESIDENT...a vote for Bush is a vote against yourself...

G.(ee) W.(hiz) Bush, master of timing and put-downs, implied that John Edwards pales in comparison to Dick Cheney in terms of experience when Bush was asked what of thought of Kerry's VP choice. What Bush said was, "Dick Cheney can be president."

Bush's razor-sharp wit and biting, incisive commentary save the day! Except for two things: 1) Dick Cheney is the president, and 2) my white ass or anyone's white or black or brown or red ass can be president under the following circumstances:

No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty five years, and been fourteen Years a resident within the United States.

That is of course, from the U.S. Constitution, which I realize is a document that Bush and his pals don't take too seriously. But under those guidelines, not only could John Edwards be president, but I could be president. My wife could be president. My dog Skeeter could be president (in people years--oh wait, the language does say you have to be something called a "person").

Check This Out
Here's something interesting that I just discovered--if you go to Google and type in "bushcheney04" and then click on the first entry, it takes you to!!! I looked up Bush's site so I could find out for sure what his experience was before he was installed as president by those goddamn activist judges he and his buddies hate so much. Apparently his only qualifications were two terms as governor of Texas, and he only served half of the second term even though he lost the presidential election in 2000 but again, was installed in the White House by the Supreme Court.

If I Were...
If I were a nationally known news personality, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity might be inclined to say "Look at this liberal bastard--he's helping to perpetuate the lie that Bush lost the election and only came to power through the partisan machinations of the Supreme Court." And they would be right about everything except the part about all that being a lie.

The only reason that George Bush is president right now is that even though Gore undisputedly won the majority of the popular vote, that majority did not take to the streets or storm the White House in order to morally or physically prevent him from taking the oath of office. Why? Because liberals and Democrats believe in law and order and in the orderly transfer of power, even if it doesn't seem quite right. Hey, no one can win all the time.

But as Buzzflash points out in this news analysis, the Bushies don't believe that and will stop at nothing to win elections. Let's not forget the the redistricting fiascos in Texas (nice summary and then final outcome)and Colorado (nice summary and final outcome). In fact, a sentence in the Washington Post article about Colorado from last year says it very well: "According to experts in the field, there is no precedent in modern U.S. politics for what the Texas and Colorado Republicans did." That applies generally to most hardcore Republicans--they like to violate precedents and pretend that the generally perceived understandings and unlegislated traditions (i.e., redistricting only once a decade instead of every time the balance of power changes) that keep our government somewhat in check don't exist. For example, they think nothing of handing out the largest tax cuts in history to the wealthiest citizens while waging an illegal, unprovoked war after losing an election and having been installed by the unelected Supreme Court (the conservapundits always love to point out that the Supreme Court and federal judges in general are not elected).

Bush Can't Win Legitimately--He Didn't Last Time
But, not to worry, because there is no way John Kerry will lose this election--the only chance Bush has is to cheat like last time. Kerry is the most qualified, the most dignified, the richest, the most benevolent, and the most rockin' candidate. In fact, I'm glad Kerry pointed out that of the two tickets, he and Edwards have the best hair. That means Kerry learned something from the 2000 election--and that is that substance means nothing to the American media, but image means everything to them. That remark showed he has a sense of humor and also that Dick Cheney is mean, fat and bald. And that he drinks orphaned children's blood from the hollowed out skulls of "liberated" Iraqis. And using Cheney's own standards of proof (fifth paragraph), what I just said must be true, because it has never been proven...or disproven.